Online Dating is a Waste of Time

Online dating is an intereting concept as it offers the potential to meet a very large selection of people, but has serious problems with it. Herein, some of the reasons online dating is a waste of time for the vast majority of people attempting it will be given.

State of Mind

The problem with online dating is that the state of mind users are in when they are using a website is quite different from that which they are in day-to-day. Online, people tend to be ruder, have a kind of attention deficit disorder and expect immediate entertainment. While this may still apply or many people in real life, being forced through work, college or social activities to spend more time with people will give them a better view of that person over time. Whereas online the judgement is being made based on very little ‘data’ collected from what may be a 50 word message accompanied by a photo. To add further, the method used in that judgement may be quite different than the type of judgement used in real life.

Attraction is Subtle

Attraction is an emotional and often quite silly. This is not to say that it is illogical, just that what a person believes they want when they analyze it conciously and what they actually want or even need can be very different. To add further to this the reasons we are attracted to a partner can be as subtle as smell, something absent from online dating. Even the size of a person’s spleen might potentially have an influence.

This does not stop some people from using this method of dating successfully, but perhaps the lesson is to withhold judgement and use online dating solely to increase the number of people you meet as well as their diversity, rather than deciding based on the online aspect whether or not you intend to date the person.

Dehumanization

It is much easier to view the the person communicating with you on a computer as not being human, or at the very least not being fully human. This is a problem as we are attracted to people, not to words on a screen. Furthermore, it can lead to extreme judgements being given well before they are due.

Conclusion

While online dating may have a limited degree of success if it is used socially rather than romantically, for it to be successful there seems to be a method required to using it. In essence, not taking it too seriously.

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